Dec. 1st, 2003
Great Expectorations  
I just ate mold.

Not on purpose, of course. No one told me deserts can go bad in the refrigerator — at least not in a month! I mean I over cook my meats and use countless utensils to avoid any contamination. I won't eat leftovers left in the fridge for 3 days, but anything without an expiration date is fair game! I expect things to be clearly labeled for all their dangers. After all, I live in a society where household cleansers come with warnings not to drink them. I expect no less from my food.

Anywho, I found the wonderful torte I forgot about that was sitting in the back of my fridge. There was only a little piece of it. But it's tall, and the piece left small. After I'd taken several bites, and the multi-layered delicacy toppled over, I noticed something — a color that I don't remember being in my technicolored dreamcake: green.

At first, I tried to calm myself down. After all, I'm constantly overanalyzing breads and other things that I show to my roommate John for approval before I'll ingest them. Despite his usual insistence that I can remove the contaminated pieces and eat the rest, I refuse. If one piece of bread has a spot, the whole loaf goes in the garbage.

After a bit of denial (and the urge to spit a lot), I decided to look at one of the pieces under a lamp. After all, maybe I just didn't notice this spice. The green was furry. I gagged. There was also white furry, which could have been whipped cream for all I know. I could no longer deny this.

Nuts

What could have caused this? I don't know. The green furries seemed to like the almonds. I have a container filled with cashews that I've had for a month in my closet that are still good. I think there might be cream cheese. I know John has made desserts with cream cheese.I don't know what the hell cream cheese is exactly. I assume it contains cheese. I've had Kraft singles in my fridge for months before with no problem. For Christ's sake, cheese is a mold!

Panic-striken, I ran to Google. Frantically searching around, I tried to learn what one should do if they've ingested bad cake. You know, that's not as easy as you might think (I did quickly learn, however, that cream cheese has a surprisingly very short life span). I found a book from Poison Control (which is located here, in case you're interested). The PDF has a bit of information on preventing food poisoning, but not on what to do if you'd just stupidly eaten mold. But at least now I had someone to call. Their advice: wait it out and contact a doctor if it lasted more than 24 hours. I've had food poisoning before. This wasn't what I wanted to hear.

Maybe I could throw up?

I ran to try to find the Ipecac Syrup my mom had sent me years ago to have on hand (which does, btw, have an expiration date — 8/98). I don't like vomitting anyway, so back to googling. I found a few sites that suggested: goldenseal extract, charcoal tablets, and eating garlic — evidentally the sulfur in garlic helps kills the toxins or something (go figure). I ran to Whole Foods.

I drank a dropper full of Goldenseal (which tastes about as good as it sounds, btw), and swallowed six charcoal tablets. I quickly made four slices of garlic bread with enough garlic to keep vampies and everyone else away for several days. I put the oven on "broil", and, with the help of guardianmonkey, determined that the drawer beneath the oven was probably the broiler and not just storage (we're still not totally sure, but the bread did seem to cook).

Now the waiting begins

I have to take several more doses of Goldenseal and charcoal over the next 24 hours. The only thing I know for certain at this point is that between the mold or the ridiculously strong garlic bread I ate, something is going to be exploding out of my ass. But with any luck, I hopefully won't be writhing on the floor of the bathroom as well.

Well, here's to hope, holistic medicine, and a can of Lysol.
 
 
Mood: Garlicy
Listening to: Cher - We All Sleep Alone
 
 
( Post a new comment )
Gantriochgantrioch on December 1st, 2003 - 11:10 pm
Another one for my LiveJournal memories :-).
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Силвиоterrancraft on December 1st, 2003 - 11:57 pm
From a Microbial point of view
Don't worry too much about it. Humans are such complex organisms ... a little green mold will do close to little or no damage to you. When you put something in your mouth it first has to find a way to not get killed by your saliva (lyzosyme), the mechanical breakdown of the food (chewing), then the bolus (wad of food) is thrown into a highly acidic and pressured environment (stomach)... and IFF the fuzz can pass through all that without giving up the ghost then you have all your immuno-responses ready to go.

It's when you are under high stress that the immune system starts to slow down = invasion of foreign pathogens.

Of course, as little as 10 bacteria can get you sick. Depends on which side of the coin you're lookin at. ;)

(I added you by the way; miss L.A.)
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on December 2nd, 2003 - 07:14 pm
Re: From a Microbial point of view
oh, I hope you're right. I've been diligently taking my Goldenseal and the charcoal tablets. There was a bit of gurgling in the stomach earlier. Seems to have calmed down after I ate Fat Burger. =)
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Drop the Light!tigerroars on December 1st, 2003 - 11:57 pm
I hope you get over your little bout with the ever present mold. It should not be too bad. You seem like an interesting and up beat individual, so if you don't mind, I would like to add you to my collection of friends.
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The People's Exhibit A: A.D.D.davidology on December 2nd, 2003 - 10:28 pm
Thanks! I hope I win the battle too.
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All About Me: kicking itallaboutnumber2 on December 2nd, 2003 - 12:39 am
David david daivd
this is hardly a time to scold you but.... Man! frist rule in the germophobic guide books says Don't eat food thats a month old...

A) egg is in cake :\

now to cheer you up... a song :)

fuzzy wassy was a bear
fuzzy wassy had no hair,
then Fuzzy hit puberty
and Fuzzy turned fuzzy everywhere.

::sigh:: ::hugs:: David I hope you feel better soon... and um good look with the craper and the craps... ::thumbs up::

later dude
-Rob
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The People's Exhibit A: A.D.D.davidology on December 2nd, 2003 - 10:26 pm
Re: David david daivd
Now, that's just silly. Who would put an egg in a cake?
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josh: sauronsoundofthemoon on December 2nd, 2003 - 08:52 am
Bentonite clay is also useful for getting yucky stuff out of your alimentary canal. Since you're in LA you can pick it up from Dr Schulze (www.800herbdoc.com) w/o waiting for shipping. He's got a good 2-part intestinal cleanse program you might want to check out.

Mold isn't necessarily bad to eat, and in fact many foods have active mold cultures. Ever eaten blue cheese? (The variety of cheese, not the generic term.) These days the mold you have to worry about is inhaling spores from mold infestations in buildings.

Now, what the hell are you doing eating food that's that old? While the mold probably won't hurt you much, it's a good indication that there is also bacteria growing in that food, and that's what causes food poisoning. Leftovers should be kept for a week at most, sometimes less.
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The People's Exhibit A: Homer - droolsdavidology on December 2nd, 2003 - 07:16 pm
> Now, what the hell are you doing eating food that's that old?

but it looked so delicious.
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D a y s p r i n gsextypeboy on December 2nd, 2003 - 11:25 am
hahaha, This is the funniest post I've ever read on LJ, and not beacause you ate the mold, just because of the way you told your little adventure. Thanks that made my day, but I hope you don't get sick!, don't worry I've accidently ingested a piece of moldy bread before (uggggh!) and I came out fine. =)
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on December 2nd, 2003 - 10:25 pm
Thanks...

and so far, so good.
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Sethucpsychguy on December 2nd, 2003 - 11:26 am
::shakes head repetitively::
At this point I'm not sure which I'm shaking my head at more, the fact that you ate the terrible torte (desserts ARE evil and this is proof)

OR

The fact that you wrote an LJ longer than most of mine that are about an entire days events about this. My god. I know you had better things to do than freak out about it ... you could have called me ;)
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The People's Exhibit A: Homer - eekdavidology on December 2nd, 2003 - 10:49 pm
Re: ::shakes head repetitively::
...but freaking out is what I do best!
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skylar18 on December 2nd, 2003 - 04:33 pm
Hey
now that we got all that worked out...lol. I finally got you on my friends list, sorry. I hope everything is going well. lets try to talk sometime. heh.
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The People's Exhibit A: A.D.D.davidology on December 2nd, 2003 - 07:16 pm

so far so good..

oo.. like the new pic!
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skylar18 on December 2nd, 2003 - 08:43 pm
ha ha thanks. It is sooooo much better than my last one. I like yours too!
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ex_prezrober685 on December 4th, 2003 - 09:05 pm
Thanks
And you're already perfect.

Perfectly David.

That's certainly enough, even for your family and even if they don't know it yet.
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