I've been thinking a lot about this... Mainly because, I don't feel that I should look down on a crowd that was just having a good time. Why is it okay for a 21 y/o and not a 50 y/o to be partying like this? Certainly to each his own. I also recall seeing a 70-something y/o man at a desert rave (Dune) some years ago and thinking how cool that was he still was out going to parties and having a good time. So why is this different just because they're gay?
At first I thought it was because this is what I felt I had to look forward to.. that this is what it meant to be gay and older: the same old shit; the same old music; the same old crowd; and the same bitter, jaded queens. But I think I've begun to realize that that's not it. I think I'm afraid that this is all there is. Realistically, I should be okay with people out having a good time. And, perhaps it's actually a good thing to realize that when I'm 40, being gay affords me the freedom to still go out and party on the weekend like a kid. But I just need to know that there's more out there than that. I'm okay with the parties and the fun if there's something more significant and meaningful to look forward to as well.