A friend sent me this. The Onion can't even make stuff like this up. I can't even believe they actually believe this much less put it in print for the whole world to see, but thank the gods they do.
A devil food is turning our kids into homosexuals
There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most popular.
Now, I'm a health-food guy, a fanatic who seldom allows anything into his kitchen unless it's organic. I state my bias here just so you'll know I'm not anti-health food.
The dangerous food I'm speaking of is soy. Soybean products are feminizing, and they're all over the place. You can hardly escape them anymore.
Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because "I can't remember a time when I wasn't homosexual." No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can't remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them... .
BWAHAHAHAHAHA. The homophobes have truly reached a new level of stupidity with this. edamame == teh ghey.
You can read the entire inane, psychotic episode put to print >here<.
OMG!!!! NO!! BOBBY JOE GET THAT SOYBEAN OUT OF LIL' BILLY BOB'S HANDS BEFORE HE CATCHES TEH GHEY! OH MA GAWD, SPRAY HIM WITH LYSOL OR SOMETHIN'! NO! DON'T COME NEAR ME! YOU MIGHT GIVE ME THE AIDS!!