Feb. 16th, 2006
Adobe Acrobat, I hate you.  
Dear Adobe Acrobat,

I hate you.

No, really. I hate you, and I never want to see you again. We're in a fight.

You see, it's bad enough that your software is woefully bloated and takes 5 hours to load the gajillion extensions you have it set to do. It's bad enough that just to view a 1-page document, my browser has to hang while your shitty software starts up. But on top of that, every time I go to view a PDF, I get some upgrade notice. Now, it would be one thing if this were actually an update.... but it isn't! It's a complete reinstall of your effing software! Have you ever heard of a patch, you sadistic fuckheads?!

To add insult to injury, every time I install—sorry, I mean "update"—my software you install 53 icons all over my hard drive and desktop, embed yourself in every @!#(*$%* application I have, and install 12 programs to load every time I start my computer! And.... And.... as if that weren't enough, just for shits and giggles I guess, you, for some unholy reason, find it necessary to reset my Internet Explorer toolbar to the default settings. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I spent 10 minutes deleting buttons and moving things so that I had everything on one row because I liked it that way?!?

ARRRRRRRRRR!

Now, after finally giving in last week and installing your crappy bloatware "update," I went around and cleaned up your mess. I deleted your stupid shortcut icons, disabled your umpteen toolbars, edited my registry to stop your poorly written crapware from starting all your unnecessary TSRs. I played along. I installed your 7.0.4.12.41.342.121.4.123.54 update that you insisted was so effing important. I spent the 10 minutes getting my toolbar back the way I like it. I thought for once maybe that would be it. Maybe in version 7 you'd learned something. I think it's over.

But is it over?

Oh no! It's ONE week later. ONE FUCKING WEEK LATER. ONE WEEK! I innocently choose to view a PDF, and you pop up that I need to install version 7.07.12.234.12.323.5321.3. ANOTHER GODDAMN UPDATE NOTICE?!??!??!11?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, YOU FUCKING LYING PIECE OF SHIT! All I wanted to do was read one lousy page. How did your crappy PDF format become the defacto internet standard, and why hasn't anyone dismantled your offices and sold the pieces for kindling?!??

ihopeuchokeanddie.

Love,

Me

P.S. Don't bother coming back to pick up your stuff. I'm burning it all.


Tags: , ,
 
 
Mood: annoyed
Listening to: Mike Park - Asian Prodigy
 
 
( Post a new comment )
The People's Exhibit Adavidology on February 17th, 2006 - 03:18 am
Re: We hate it when you sugar coat, David.
oh i hate realplayer too. AND quicktime. I delete the qttask out of startup, and as soon as it runs, it adds it back.

grrr...
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東西南北tongsinanpei on February 17th, 2006 - 08:19 pm
Same problem here. I want to slap QuickTime.

You do know that you can create and read PDFs without Acrobat, right? It's not an Adobe monopoly.
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Kyle: Shockedgypsy1526 on February 22nd, 2006 - 07:34 pm
Re: We hate it when you sugar coat, David.
well we've already established that Apple's are evil ;)
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iwill on May 7th, 2006 - 01:45 pm
Re: We hate it when you sugar coat, David.
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on May 8th, 2006 - 06:28 pm
Re: We hate it when you sugar coat, David.
I've installed free-codecs (love those guys), but I can never bring myself to let it install the alternative players. I fear losing functionality (despite ie helping keep my sanity—what's left of it anyway)/
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iwill on May 8th, 2006 - 09:26 pm
Re: We hate it when you sugar coat, David.
MediaPlayer Classic doesn't need installing, if memory serves me correctly - like FoxIt, "it just runs". I don't recall it ever touching any other settings unless told to do so - it's uncommonly well written in that respect ;]
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