May 8th, 2008


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that's weird. i can't seem to find the option to have twitter notifications BURNED INTO MY FUCKING SCROTUM WITH A SALTY, HOT CATTLE PROD.

if i could totally kill only two people this year, it would be the guy on the infomercials who talks about the importance of evacuating the 1200 pounds of leftover crap in your colon and the fraking twat monkey who thought giving venture capital to twitter was a good idea.

...and if i could get one more, i'd go after the person or persons who thought it would be so fucking awesome to syndicate the twitter content to every other service on earth. O HAI MAYBE IN ADDITIONS TO TEXTING MY PHONE, IMING ME, EMAILING ME, AND POSTING IT TO MY FACEBOOK YOU COULD ATTACH IT TO LARGE ROCKS AND THROW IT AT MY FUCKING HEAD TOO!

ok i'm just kidding. you know i love you all. but seriously, twitter needs to die painfully in a tragic velociraptor acid reflux accident.

p.s. i'll probably twitter you this weekend when i'm bored in an airport.