December 13th, 2007

internets

WHY must you make me kill you with fire?

It should come as no surprise to any of you: I hate sales calls. Nothing makes me more stabby. I understand your only job is to call me (apparently), but believe it or not, *I* actually have work to do!

At work they're the worst because invariably it's some asshat who won't take NO for an answer and who also apparently thinks that I just got an internet yesterday ("Hi, have you heard of the Google 'cause my company can put you there!") diaf *stab**stab**stab*.

You get 20 of these a day, and you'd hate you as much as I hate you. Today I got a 1:13 long voice mail that got in "We are one of the leading..." before I hit 9 to delete.

No... No, Tom, you are not. I can tell you what you are not: you are not leading anything. You know how I know, because if you have to tell me then you aren't. Leading companies don't have to tell me they're leading. You know who doesn't cold call me to tell me that, Tom? Microsoft, Google, Yahoo... you know, LEADING COMPANIES. I call them. If you're leading, I should have heard about you, and I should be calling you!

*headdesk*

But wait... there's MOAR.

As I was typing this, he actually sent me a nonsensical email follow up... twice. AND HIGH PRIORITY, which just makes me want to stick toothpicks with little flags on them into in your eyes and then light them on fire. Yes, I read your email first, and I also deleted it because YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND EMAIL FLAGGING YOU TWITMONKEY I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!

I made this FAIL image macro just for you, Tom! plschokeanddiekthxbi!

Go directly to FAIL

So how's everyone?