March 6th, 2004

scream, blah

Was it Shakespeare who said: First we kill all the birds?

When I become King, my friends, my first order of business will be the eradication of birds from the planet — every last one of the pooping, disease filled rodents. They and their weapons of mass defecation must be eliminated from the planet.

Seriously, if a human went around shitting all over people's freshly washed cars, he'd be arrested. Yet we tolerate it from these disease-laden vermen.

It's so good to be back in the 310

I just came from fashion district downtown L.A. (finding a cheap tuxedo). Ironically, my tuxdeo for this black tie affair cost less than the DKNY-A|X outfit I'd put together. But mortals and their stupid games of dress up. Seriously, our boys in uniform fight for my right not to have to wear such silliness.

My allergies are complaining from having to breath the foul air down there.... waiting 30 minutes in the heat while the tailor probably totally screwed up the cheap pants. I've yet to try them on (that DKNY-A|X may have hope yet!)

I drove like a maniac on the way back. Everyone over there drives too slowly. I don't know what it is. Speeding down Olympic, I think I shrieked in joy when I saw downtown Century City. I just kept my eye on those buildings to know I would soon be back to the westside. Stopped at Pep Boys to get Meguiar's Final Step to sweep away the bird feces from my freshly washed car. Little bastards!

Now, I need to shower the downtown off me. Oh, 310, how I missed you!
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