October 19th, 2003

me

Promise

Sleeping through the evening singing dreams inside my head
I'm heading out I've got some ins who say they care and they just might
I run away with you if things don't go as planned
Planning big could be a gamble I've already rolled the dice
I spit and stutter stuff and clutter worries in my worried corner
Maladjusted just untrusted, rusted, sometimes brilliant busted thoughts
Think I'll stay for a while I'm intrigued and I'm red as a newborn white as a corpse

I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind
Promise not to mind if you go your way and I go mine
Promise not to lie if I'm looking you straight in the eye
Promise not to try not to let you down

I am elated I am all smiles and dated in my man bites dog town with a Spanish name
I am all bone I am two tone red as a newborn white as a corpse

I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind
Promise not to mind if you go your way and I go mine
Promise not to lie if I'm looking you straight in the eye
Promise not to try not to let you down

Why you gotta keep the fan on high when it's cold outside
Just want to let you know that I'm still a fan, get it?
Everybody wants charm and a smile and a promise
I promise not to try

I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind
Promise not to mind if you go your way and I go mine
Promise not to lie if I'm looking you straight in the eye
Promise not to try not to not to not to leave
  • Current Music
    Eve 6 - Promise
me

Adaptive or Destructive

I've noticed something about myself that perhaps sends out the wrong signals. When I find someone interesting (especially someone "new"), I of course show interest in my way (that is to say probably very subtlely being my characteristically overly emotive self). But the moment others start to show interest in the same person, the moment I feel as if it's some sort of race or the person might be getting overwhelmed with the attention oft bestowed on the n00bs, I'm done. I withdraw from the race. If you're interested in me, you're interested in me. I won't chase.

I've wasted too much energy on those who just end up caught up in the high school-esque scene. But maybe in the process, I'm sending the signal I've lost interest. I've not, but I have an irrational fear of being confused as one of someone's admirers. Relationships — be they friendship or otherwise — are by definition two-way. Otherwise, it's just worship, and the only person I'm going ga ga over is Cher. So unless you can belt out a healthy rendition of "Believe" and look flawless at 150, you'd better expect to give me something to go on.

Thing is I've been on both sides of this. I've been on side where you don't initiate IMs or calls, they just come. You stay busy, and it feels good great. But those people don't stick around, because, eventually, everyone grows tired of being the sole initiator in a one-way infatuation with yourself. With some, I've also felt like the one who always seems to initiate the IMs and calls. It doesn't feel so good, and I have little tolerance for it. Of course I need to look at my own behavior, otherwise, in complaining about this, I'm the biggest hypocrite.
  • Current Music
    Lene Marlin - Playing My Game
me

Where is that people picket fence that I painted

I've been conflicted.

On the one hand, I'm not a huge fan of unions. Don't like your job? Yea, you and the other 99.9% of America. You don't get to decide not to go. I recognize that they had their place in history, I just question their use in present-day.

In principal, I think if you don't like your job, you find a new one. I also think a company which treats its workers badly, can fully expect to keep bad workers as the good workers leave for companies that will treat them well. In fact, you can generally tell the companies that treat their employees well by the attitude of the workers. (For example, I'd bet money Best Buy isn't exactly Utopia to work for.)

That having been said, however, cutting health benefits 50% and taking away prescription drug benefits from your employees? Well, that's just a kilometer or 2 north of a little town called Really Fucked Up Land. Regardless of my general opinion of unions, that's just messed up. I have a couple friends who have asked me not to cross their picket line. And I won't. There's a difference between being exercising your rights as an employer and just being a cold-hearted, mean-spirited asshat.

So far so good.

Now we'll see how I make out between Smart N Final and Trader Joe's today. After all I have a caffeine habit addiction to feed.
  • Current Music
    Felix Da Housecat vs. Pop Tarts - Money,Success, Fame, Glamour
HTF - Nutty, hyper, Sugar high

BAD chicken, mess you up

This weekend, I continued my battle with the food poisoning I got from the evil freezer burned chicken.

It didn't stop my adventure with Seth to DN's humble abode for a birthday party. I ran into several people, which made me happy, including reposed and princemike. Mike and I agreed it was a bit sad that we recognized each other from LJ, (but *sigh* I guess that's better than recognizing each other from m4m4sex.com or something, right?). JJ, Neal, Stace, Seth, and myself sort of hovered between the chocolate chip cookies and the bar. And it's always fun hanging out with Mr. punkdhiver, when both of us can sit still long enough. Seth and I seemed to score somewhat of a coup d'etat by getting our valet claim in right before the hordes came out to claim their cars. Because we decided to double back and go up and over Mulholland to avoid Sunset, we got to see what the poor valets were up against. The poor guys were literally running up the hill to collect everyone's cars. Yikes. I felt bad for the guys. Had I known, I'd have tipped more than my $2.

Today I had my boss' engagement party. She was in town from NYC, and I treked over to the Palisades. I was expecting entirely too much yuppie and estrogen. There was an abundance of estrogen (and kids), but it was quite the shindig. They had two sushi chefs preparing what was some of the best sushi I've ever had, all hand rolled. I had probably umpteen rolls and seriously about a dozen Ebi. Then there was this cake. It was some kind of torte (I forgot what kind exactly), but it was absofuckly amazing. I can't say I'd expect anything less than this for Wendy, nor does she deserve less.

But I actually have some more of that torte in the fridge I think I'm about to go raid =) Oh, and if anyone recognizes the shades on the mad keyboard duster here, let me know. They've been here 4eva.
  • Current Music
    Good Charlotte - Boys And Girls