1. Stop wearing a Bluetooth headset when you're not on the phone. You're just trying too hard to look cool. Besides, Bluetooth headsets are not even remotely new! They're only new to poor CDMA customers (Verizon and Sprint here in the states) because those carriers didn't want you to be able to transfer data without using their network (hint: so they can charge you!) Those on GSM networks have been enjoying Bluetooth headsets for years now, mainly because U.S. carriers can't really control anything because it's a worldwide standard. Seriously, if you're not talking or carrying around two babies and a bag full of groceries, you look like a fucking idiot. Not to mention, you're just needlessly running down the battery. This is like when AOL users were let out onto the net for the first time and went around saying, "Have you heard of this 'new' thing called email?" Oh. Dear. God. Stop.

2. STOP USING THE TERM "Web 2.0." It's idiotic. The web doesn't have huge upgrade points, and if it did, we'd probably be on Web 152.3. The web is constantly evolving over time, and you know it. "Web 2.0" is just overplayed businessspeak. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT.

That's all... for now. Now someone get me a Coke—STAT.

---We now return you to your regular, boring life... already in progress---