The People's Exhibit A (davidology) wrote,
The People's Exhibit A
davidology

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Commander Coo Coo Bananas

Best Simpsons evar. I fell over laughing when Homer made fun of Bush.

Family Guy, Desperate Housewives... all awesome. It's too much good TV in one night.

I could die of teh lulz.

Asphyxiation: Internet Addict much?
When the internet goes down, you suddenly realize how it's like missing a limb. Last night I couldn't understand why my IMs weren't going through. I'd sign off only to watch the computer struggle to sign back on. "Stupid AOL," I muttered, as if it were some meaningless thing in my life I could live without. Then I realized I couldn't resolve domain names. Flushed DNS, stopped and restarted the DNS server, bounced the domain server, tried using an external DNS server. nada. Bounced the router, cable modem.... Then I saw it. The horror of the blinking cable light meaning it couldn't reach the mothership. We were cut off. The oxygen in the room suddenly grew stale. A quick scan of all the wireless networks in the area showed them all secured.

"How do I find Adelphia's number to report this?" was my first thought. Ordinarily, I'd pop online and grab it from their site. I remembered I had a paper bill for them somewhere. The operator tried to reach the modem, but he couldn't.

"It could be your modem or something draining the signal strength before it gets to your place. We'll have to send someone out. How does Tuesday morning look?"

"But today's Sunday!" I exclaimed. He was supposed allay my fears by telling me there was a problem they were aware of, and we would be back up shortly—just like he has in the past. That wasn't happening this time. After I hung up the phone, I thought, "I can do this. It will be good for me."

I was certainly occupied by watching TV with friends, but I couldn't help but feel anxious. I didn't know what I'd need the Internet for, but I only knew I'd need it, and it wouldn't be there.

As I went back to watching TV with my friends, panic set in. "Maybe I should go buy a new modem, in case that's the problem. Is the Good Guys on La Cienega still open 24 hours?" No one was sure, but how would I get the number?! Totally forgetting about 411, I was ready to go bury my head in the sand, but then I remembered, I could SMS Google or Yahoo search it from my phone. I quickly typed out "Good Guys 90069" on my phone and fired off the text message and got my answer.

A quick phone call later would tell me they now closed at 10, and I was screwed. My mind raced to alternative forms of communication. "Oh, I have an AOL account!" I'd need a modem and a phone line. "Snap! My laptop has a modem!" Then I realized, AOL wasn't intalled on it. My desktop had AOL but no modem. WHY WERE THE GODS TOYING WITH ME?!

Houston, we have ignition
I was just starting to convince myself that if I stayed at work late Monday and then went out Monday night, I could make it to Tuesday morning. As I reached down to turn off the living room computer for the last time, I noticed the light. That beautiful, wonderful, orgasmic green LED "cable" light I swore I'd never take for granted again. Then I saw the sweet, sweet view of the blinking Activity light. I screamed. I'm pretty sure I woke my roommate and the neighbors. I ran to my room (since that computer was still on). I didn't want to go crazy, so I started slow, dropped to command line and typed "ping yahoo.com."

Pinging Yahoo.com [66.94.234.13] with 32 bytes of data:

It resolved! Trying to contain my excitement, I waited in anticipation for what felt like an eternity but was really only 87 microseconds.

Reply from 66.94.234.13: bytes=32 time=87ms TTL=53

I breathed a deep sigh of relief as my life returned to normal. I signed off AIM on my phone and switched to the computer. I checked my email and sent a couple IMs before realizing I really didn't have anything to do online. So I said my goodbyes and turned off the computer.

It seemed kind of silly now, but at least now I knew now I could go to bed knowing that the Internet would be there when I woke up and wondering how much a backup DSL line costs.
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