Sep. 11th, 2004
Decaf David  
I've been dragging for the past few days. By 1 in the afternoon, I still can't get up. During the day, I'm pulling my legs behind me. I've been napping every day. It was bizarre. Certainly, a 2 hour difference wouldn't make me jet lagged, and definitely not for this long. I chalked it up to boredom, but this felt beyond boredom.

I've tried everything. I avoided the Diet Caffeine Free Coke and chose the cans of Mug Root Beer. I've drank glass upon glass of iced tea, so much in fact, a flash flood watch was introduced the last time I went to the bathroom. Nothing seemed to be perking me up. I couldn't understand it.

In search of another pick me up, I went to the fridge and noticed an open can of Mug. I pulled it out to pour into a glass over ice, and that's when I saw it. Perhaps I missed it before due to the lack of caffeine coursing through my veins, but there it was: CAFFEINE FREE emblazoned the top of the can. I put the can back, deciding to make some tea instead.

In the pantry I found the box of iced tea bags. As I grabbed it, the green "naturally decaffeinated" banner mocked me as I slumped to the floor with a cry of "Noooo!"

I was beaten. There was no caffeine to be had, and all my attempts at self-caffeination over the past couple of days were failures. Suddenly I knew the reason for my lethargy. This house has been decaffeinated, and like Andy Dick at Promises, my body is in a state of shock and going through withdrawals. My faculties are waning. I can't believe the misspellings and inability to focus. I need a caffeine fix. Badly.

Popeye needs his Spinach, and I need my soda. Somebody, please sneak in a Dr. Pepper.
Mood: recumbent
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code_hero on September 11th, 2004 - 07:54 pm
Stop by my Starbucks; I'll give you all the shots you want.

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The People's Exhibit A: sexdavidology on September 14th, 2004 - 07:26 pm
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scootermark on September 11th, 2004 - 09:17 pm
There is this candy that has a filling of thick liquid espresso. It is like drinking five cups of coffee. It's called Pocket Coffee--perfect for keeping caffeine with you if you're not sure you can get it...
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on September 14th, 2004 - 07:26 pm
oh, but i loathe the taste of coffee. I can't even stand coffee-flavored Jelly Bellies!
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scootermark on September 15th, 2004 - 02:42 pm
That's a problem during caffeine withdrawal. Guess you'll have to find little candies with Coca-Cola inside (which do exist...) :)
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on September 15th, 2004 - 02:45 pm
oh, don't tease me like that.
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Teenage Dreamweedonranger on September 12th, 2004 - 10:11 am
Red bull and really need to store-up on those super-stimulants.
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on September 14th, 2004 - 07:28 pm
I did have Red Bull with vodka on my two nights out. That helped!
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Ceira Denisegiftedeccentric on September 13th, 2004 - 08:47 am
I have a full supply of 24 packs of Dr. Pepper for ya! But uh. . yeah, it's in Texas.
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otherlleft on September 13th, 2004 - 11:15 am
So what did you do to enrage the goddess Caffeina?
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jonjonnyboyca on September 13th, 2004 - 10:18 pm
go buy Men's One-A-Day Multivitamins... that'll help :)
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The People's Exhibit A: wtfdavidology on September 14th, 2004 - 07:29 pm
Vitamins?!? I needed CAFFEINE!

I gotta have my fix man!
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!!The Sexiest Darius Ever!!stormi on September 15th, 2004 - 02:38 am
Hey.. got your message the other day but I didnt get your #, and that made calling you back a tad bit more difficult than i planned ;) Anyways, gimme a call sometime
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on September 15th, 2004 - 02:46 pm
d'oh... will do.

sorry, I was quite sleepy by that point from getting up at some ungodly hour. I passed out on the floor shortly after.

But shouldn't you be evacuating to higher ground or something?
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