The People's Exhibit A (davidology) wrote,
The People's Exhibit A

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Protecting you from non-Christian, Satan-loving, sodomite judges

It's no secret that for some time, internally, the Republican Party has been controlled by a fringe group of religious extremists. Very few are conservative enough for this group (except for perhaps the likes of Pat Buchanan or Pat Robertson). I've read a few well written essays recently dealing with this group, whom Lee Atwater referred to as the "extra chromosome Republicans." They've systematically taken over the party infrastructure and turned it into a vehicle for their religious crusade. Oddly enough, they're not party loyalists. Their worst enemy isn't a Democrat or even a socialist, but that of the moderate Republican, i.e. the Republican who believes in limited government not only economically, but socially. Even Bush, Sr. drew the ire of this group for not towing the line and being conservative enough. Fortunately, they've found a good friend and Christian soldier in GWB, you know our fearless leader who has taken us into war because God told him to.

The 94-page 2004 Republican Party Platform, which is largely crafted by the fundamentalists, won't get much play during the carefully scripted convention. So for your reading pleasure, I thought I'd highlight a few passages from this learned scripture... I mean platform. Take careful note because the platform is not only against gay marriage but civil unions as well. The text is verbatim (I may have taken liberty with the headings).

Supporting Judges Who Uphold the Law [as we see it] (page 78)

In the federal courts, scores of judges with activist backgrounds in the hard-left now have lifetime tenure. Recent events have made it clear that these judges threaten America’s dearest institutions and our very way of life. In some states, activist judges are redefining the institution of marriage. The Pledge of Allegiance has already been invalidated by the courts once, and the Supreme Court’s ruling has left the Pledge in danger of being struck down again – not because the American people have rejected it and the values that it embodies, but because a handful of activist judges threaten to overturn commonsense and tradition. And while the vast majority of Americans support a ban on partial birth abortion, this brutal and violent practice will likely continue by judicial fiat. We believe that the self-proclaimed supremacy of these judicial activists is antithetical to the democratic ideals on which our nation was founded. President Bush has established a solid record of nominating only judges who have demonstrated respect for the Constitution and the democratic processes of our republic, and Republicans in the Senate have strongly supported those nominees. We call upon obstructionist Democrats in the Senate to abandon their unprecedented and highly irresponsible filibuster of President Bush’s highly qualified judicial nominees, and to allow the Republican Party to restore respect for the law to America’s courts.

The sound principle of judicial review has turned into an intolerable presumption of judicial supremacy. A Republican Congress, working with a Republican president, will restore the separation of powers and re-establish a government of law. There are different ways to achieve that goal, such as using Article III of the Constitution to limit federal court jurisdiction; for example, in instances where judges are abusing their power by banning the use of “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance or prohibiting depictions of the Ten Commandments, and potential actions invalidating the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Additionally, we condemn judicial activists and their unwarranted and unconstitutional restrictions on the free exercise of religion in the public square.
"President Bush said he was 'troubled' by gay people getting married in San Francisco. He said on important issues like this the people should make the decision, not judges. Unless of course we're choosing a president, then he prefers judges." –Jay Leno

Protecting all god-fearing Christians from Porn and Janet's anti-Christian boob (page 84)

The Republican Party shares the position of the United States Supreme Court in Miller v. California, 413 U.S. 15 (1973), that obscene material is “unprotected by the first amendment” (413 U.S. at 23) and that “to equate the free and robust exchange of ideas and political debate with commercial exploitation of obscene material demeans the grand conception of the first amendment and its high purposes in the historic struggle for freedom.” Miller, 413 U.S. at 34. We therefore support vigorous prosecution of obscene material by the U.S. Department of Justice.

What? Still not convinced?
What if we throw in more gay-bashing? ABSOLUTELY FREE!

Protecting children from those damned homosexuals (page 85)

We strongly support President Bush’s call for a Constitutional amendment that fully protects marriage, and we believe that neither federal nor state judges nor bureaucrats should force states to recognize other living arrangements as equivalent to marriage. We believe, and the social science confirms, that the well-being of children is best accomplished in the environment of the home, nurtured by their mother and father anchored by the bonds of marriage. We further believe that legal recognition and the accompanying benefits afforded couples should be preserved for that unique and special union of one man and one woman which has historically been called marriage. After more than two centuries of American jurisprudence, and millennia of human experience, a few judges and local authorities are presuming to change the most fundamental institution of civilization, the union of a man and a woman in marriage. Attempts to redefine marriage in a single state or city could have serious consequences throughout the country, and anything less than a Constitutional amendment, passed by the Congress and ratified by the states, is vulnerable to being overturned by activist judges. On a matter of such importance, the voice of the people must be heard. The Constitutional amendment process guarantees that the final decision will rest with the American people and their elected representatives. President Bush will also vigorously defend the Defense of Marriage Act, which was supported by both parties and passed by 85 votes in the Senate. This common sense law reaffirms the right of states not to recognize same-sex marriages licensed in other states.

President Bush said, “We will not stand for judges who undermine democracy by legislating from the bench and try to remake America by court order.” The Republican House of Representatives has responded to this challenge by passing H.R. 3313, a bill to withdraw jurisdiction from the federal courts over the Defense of Marriage Act. We urge Congress to use its Article III power to enact this into law, so that activist federal judges cannot force 49 other states to approve and recognize Massachusetts’ attempt to redefine marriage.

What would you pay for a document containing so much knowledge?

But wait... there's more!

Read about our campaign to give an official voice to the Vatican in the United Nations (page 25).

Read about our promotion of Christian.. err.. I mean faith-based initiatives (pages 31, 56, 73, 75, 76, 79).

Read about our call for an end to discrimination against everyone except ho-mo-sexuals (page 76).

Let us tell you about our worldwide campaign to ban legal abortion (pages 26, 78, 83, 86).

And, as an added bonus for signing on now, we'll throw in our little secret to the solving the world's problems: terminating funding for programs teaching safe sex education and doubling up funding for programs teaching abstinence! (pages 31, 79, 82, 83).

Sign on now, America, so we don't have to try to scare the bejesus out of you with scary 9/11 imagery and terror alerts until the election! And, remember, Osama bin Laden wants you to vote for Kerry. You don't want to be a traitor to your country, do you? Keep America strong and safe. Be a patriot and vote for Bush and live... or vote for Kerry and die. The choice is yours, America. Amen. *barfs*

This message brought to you by the Ministry of Homeland Security.
For your own copy of God's Word the 2004 GOP Platform, you may download it here (PDF)

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