The People's Exhibit A (davidology) wrote,
The People's Exhibit A

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the stage is set to rip the wings from a butterfly
the stage is set, don't forget to breathe between the lines

So in the interest of fairness, Newsweek has done a bit of a critical review of some of the facts in Fahrenheit 9/11 (that link is here). As of course with just about everything, the truth is somewhere in the middle of both sides' propaganda. Nonetheless, F911 gave me more ammo to hate Bush, so it's time for honesty—honesty to myself. I hate Bush, and I think need to come clean to myself and confront why. It's not that I'm concerned about being intellectually dishonest. I just think it's important to understand and own these things yourself.

if the whole world dies then it's safe to take the stage
these graves will stretch like landing strips, hospitals, all dead museums
we won't have to be afraid anymore

I still think some of the conclusions Moore came to are true, but you know what? It really doesn't matter. It could all be false, and I still would loathe GWB as much. Yeah, yeah, Bush has truly embarrassed this country and caused damage to our reputation that will take years to undo. He lied about reasons to go to war. Sure, he's responsible for the largest deficit in U.S. history; he's acted as if he's above the law. All or any of those are probably just cause for removing him from office, and any one of them would be enough for me to vote against him, but that's really not fueling this drive or this loathing I hold.

I hate him for hating me.

I remember when I realized that gay marriage was becoming a reality in Boston. It was an indescribable feeling. All of a sudden those feelings of "eh, I don't care about marriage. Who needs it?" were replaced with feelings of some level of elation that I might actually be able to (legally) marry someone I love in my lifetime. It also meant recognition of who I am as an equal, human being, as lame as that may sound. All the things I defiantly swore I didn't need suddenly felt attainable. The anger I carry subsided a bit.

It felt good.

the crowd is growing silent with the gathering storm
when the curtain falls and you're caught on the other side, just trying to keep up the act
we'll lie in the back of black cars with the windows rolled up joining the procession of emptiness

Enter the "President," who jumped on his pulpit, declared his jihad against homos and "activist" judges (if by "activist," he means doing their jobs, I guess he might be right). But it wasn't enough for him to denounce the action, he took the most extreme action he could: he actually proposed a constitutional amendment to change the United States Constitution, which if passed, would guarantee that I would never see these rights in my lifetime—ever. The excitement I had abated. I became scared for the direction this country was about to turn.

It was that day that my dislike turned to utter and complete hatred for the man.

if we say these words, it will be too late to take them back
so we hold our breath, and fold our hands like paper planes, and we're going to crash
we don't have to be alone ever again
there's a riot in the theatre; someone's standing in the aisle
yelling that the murderers are everywhere and they're lining up, carving M into your side

Don't get me wrong, I understand homophobes, because I was one. The pangs of guilt I occasionally feel when I think of the "fag" jokes I proudly told as a kid, the kids I called "faggot," the disgust I felt when I saw them, (and the times I've been called it as well) sting. I may not have grown up in a tolerant household and didn't learn the best lessons. The difference, I guess, is that I grew out of it. Our President hasn't. He can't see past the narrow interpretations of this oft quoted book The Bible he was likely taught. As Jena Malone in Saved! told Hilary Faye when after she tried to "save" her from hell and threw The Bible at her: "You idiot! This isn't a weapon."

pull the curtain back, kill all the house lights, pin the dress lotus flowers
the silk is spinning 'round and around, with the ceiling fan
i'm disappearing into the spotlight; i'm on display with the butterfly and the scarecrow
with smiles like picket fences, you tie us all up and leave us outside

I guess this makes me a single issue voter this time around. But, you know what? This issue is that important to me, and if you're gay, it should be to you, shouldn't it? I almost can't believe these words are about to come from my mouth...err... fingers, but I do not understand any gay person who could vote for Bush—or quite frankly any straight person who pretends to care for someone s/he knows who is gay. If you voted for Bush in 2000, fine, we disagree—no biggie. But if you vote for him in November, wow. I just don't get it. I don't even know that I could look you in the eye right now. It's not as if the single issue we're talking about voting on is his position on the Alternative Minimum Tax. We're talking about his active stand in trying to deny us—me—of equal rights. This man is our enemy and has shown the extent to which he's willing to go.

Ugh. Somewhere I got on my soapbox. This was supposed to be about me.

I feel I need to in some small way make up for my mistakes, and my silence, and I know where I'm going to start. I just got my annual raise that I was going to roll over into the 401k, but I think I'm going to push that back just a month and take every cent of in the meantime, and donate it to Kerry's campaign. It's a small step, but it's something. We simply cannot let this man win reelection. We can't. I'm neither willing nor am I going to give up the rights we've finally begun to earn—not without a fight.

that voice is silent now, and the boat has sunk, we're on our own, but
we're not going to run
(lyrics by Thursday, "M. Shepard"))


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