Jul. 2nd, 2004

the stage is set to rip the wings from a butterfly
the stage is set, don't forget to breathe between the lines

So in the interest of fairness, Newsweek has done a bit of a critical review of some of the facts in Fahrenheit 9/11 (that link is here). As of course with just about everything, the truth is somewhere in the middle of both sides' propaganda. Nonetheless, F911 gave me more ammo to hate Bush, so it's time for honesty—honesty to myself. I hate Bush, and I think need to come clean to myself and confront why. It's not that I'm concerned about being intellectually dishonest. I just think it's important to understand and own these things yourself.

if the whole world dies then it's safe to take the stage
these graves will stretch like landing strips, hospitals, all dead museums
we won't have to be afraid anymore

I still think some of the conclusions Moore came to are true, but you know what? It really doesn't matter. It could all be false, and I still would loathe GWB as much. Yeah, yeah, Bush has truly embarrassed this country and caused damage to our reputation that will take years to undo. He lied about reasons to go to war. Sure, he's responsible for the largest deficit in U.S. history; he's acted as if he's above the law. All or any of those are probably just cause for removing him from office, and any one of them would be enough for me to vote against him, but that's really not fueling this drive or this loathing I hold.

I hate him for hating me.

I remember when I realized that gay marriage was becoming a reality in Boston. It was an indescribable feeling. All of a sudden those feelings of "eh, I don't care about marriage. Who needs it?" were replaced with feelings of some level of elation that I might actually be able to (legally) marry someone I love in my lifetime. It also meant recognition of who I am as an equal, human being, as lame as that may sound. All the things I defiantly swore I didn't need suddenly felt attainable. The anger I carry subsided a bit.

It felt good.

the crowd is growing silent with the gathering storm
when the curtain falls and you're caught on the other side, just trying to keep up the act
we'll lie in the back of black cars with the windows rolled up joining the procession of emptiness

Enter the "President," who jumped on his pulpit, declared his jihad against homos and "activist" judges (if by "activist," he means doing their jobs, I guess he might be right). But it wasn't enough for him to denounce the action, he took the most extreme action he could: he actually proposed a constitutional amendment to change the United States Constitution, which if passed, would guarantee that I would never see these rights in my lifetime—ever. The excitement I had abated. I became scared for the direction this country was about to turn.

It was that day that my dislike turned to utter and complete hatred for the man.

if we say these words, it will be too late to take them back
so we hold our breath, and fold our hands like paper planes, and we're going to crash
we don't have to be alone ever again
there's a riot in the theatre; someone's standing in the aisle
yelling that the murderers are everywhere and they're lining up, carving M into your side

Don't get me wrong, I understand homophobes, because I was one. The pangs of guilt I occasionally feel when I think of the "fag" jokes I proudly told as a kid, the kids I called "faggot," the disgust I felt when I saw them, (and the times I've been called it as well) sting. I may not have grown up in a tolerant household and didn't learn the best lessons. The difference, I guess, is that I grew out of it. Our President hasn't. He can't see past the narrow interpretations of this oft quoted book The Bible he was likely taught. As Jena Malone in Saved! told Hilary Faye when after she tried to "save" her from hell and threw The Bible at her: "You idiot! This isn't a weapon."

pull the curtain back, kill all the house lights, pin the dress lotus flowers
the silk is spinning 'round and around, with the ceiling fan
i'm disappearing into the spotlight; i'm on display with the butterfly and the scarecrow
with smiles like picket fences, you tie us all up and leave us outside

I guess this makes me a single issue voter this time around. But, you know what? This issue is that important to me, and if you're gay, it should be to you, shouldn't it? I almost can't believe these words are about to come from my mouth...err... fingers, but I do not understand any gay person who could vote for Bush—or quite frankly any straight person who pretends to care for someone s/he knows who is gay. If you voted for Bush in 2000, fine, we disagree—no biggie. But if you vote for him in November, wow. I just don't get it. I don't even know that I could look you in the eye right now. It's not as if the single issue we're talking about voting on is his position on the Alternative Minimum Tax. We're talking about his active stand in trying to deny us—me—of equal rights. This man is our enemy and has shown the extent to which he's willing to go.

Ugh. Somewhere I got on my soapbox. This was supposed to be about me.

I feel I need to in some small way make up for my mistakes, and my silence, and I know where I'm going to start. I just got my annual raise that I was going to roll over into the 401k, but I think I'm going to push that back just a month and take every cent of in the meantime, and donate it to Kerry's campaign. It's a small step, but it's something. We simply cannot let this man win reelection. We can't. I'm neither willing nor am I going to give up the rights we've finally begun to earn—not without a fight.

that voice is silent now, and the boat has sunk, we're on our own, but
we're not going to run
(lyrics by Thursday, "M. Shepard"))

Mood: quixotic
Listening to: Thursday - M Shepard
( Post a new comment )
Alexanderalexanderwolf on July 2nd, 2004 - 11:48 am
Michael Moore is becoming a talking head. His smear is only based in half truths and now millions of easily-impressionable moviegoers are going to be subjected to delusions.

~ but anyways, your entry is more about not voting Bush this November ~

I was thinking along those same lines a couple months ago, that people in the interest of equal rights shouldn't vote for him. Unfortunately, isn't this the same situation with Kerry, the only candidate who could conceivably trump Bush? None of these people agree with gay marriage and that is the bottom line. Bush is more passionate about it, but Kerry is just the same. If you are going to vote purely based on 'who likes gays more' then you might as well find someone else to vote for, who clearly won't win.
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on July 2nd, 2004 - 11:53 am
Re: moore
I think Kerry is only paying lip service to it. I don't think any mainstream candidate can get up and say s/he supports gay marriage.

But either way, Kerry is against the amendment. I also don't think Kerry will do much, if anything, to go against gay marriage other than to say "of course I'm against it" as sadly every other politician is saying.

I wish I could feel passionately FOR a candidate, but it's too important to throw away a vote on some fringe candidate. The race is Kerry v. Bush, and I think we need to do whatever it takes to make sure Bush does not get reelected.

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Alexanderalexanderwolf on July 2nd, 2004 - 12:00 pm
I have been thinking a lot about that, if it is fair for me to vote for the person 'most likely to oust Bush' - aka John Kerry. They both have said gay marriage is wrong, and that is the bottom line, so I pretty much consider it a wash between two men that I can't agree with (even if, no, I don't want to be married or anything). Bush is mean. Kerry is a coward (that is, if he just won't stand up and state his beliefs).
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driftwoodsun on July 2nd, 2004 - 01:02 pm
It's about time somebody said it.

And it's important to note that Kerry has been a strong supporter of gay rights his entire career (he was one of only a handful of Senators who voted against DOMA, for example). And, I may add, being against a Constitutional amendment is almost as good as being for gay marriage - without an amendment such marriages will eventually be recognized in all 50 states. All it's going to take is a case (that can't be sidestepped on a technicality, a la the recent 'Under God' snafu) challenging the Federal and State DOMA's to make it to the Supreme Court.

I think we'll see full marriage equality within 10 or 20 years so long as an amendment isn't passed.
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semaj_miasma on July 4th, 2004 - 01:43 am
ah man i dont see why people have such a problem. its like woooo get over it :)
something like "were here, were queer......." (and something else)
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semaj_miasma on July 4th, 2004 - 05:22 am
you know i dont follow the news much, so im not sure what our prime ministers views are for fags but maybe i should check up, but i think we have it a little better then you do with that fuckhead of a biggoted egotistic..... hell lets just call him a narcissist (cant spell *blushes*) of a president.

he was probably in love with a boy. or maybe not. hes just taking the easy route though. its easy to live in his own little world and forget about the rest of the people here.

you know i had a lunch with my family at southbank (look it up or something) and some goths were walking past and stopped sorta near our table, and like a hawk all my family's eyes were on them. making comments to eachother and just staring.

i chose not to say anything because if i opened my mouth it wouldnt have been nice and my oma was there, so i just leaned into my mum and said "they can stop FUCKING looking now"

its just the same with the point you were making about people who claim to care for gay people, but then voting for bush. these are people who are supposed to be open minded about homosexuality, yet when it comes to people who just dress different they look at them like they're a waste of space. go figure.

but its the same with gay people as well i have noticed. so many fucking fags are so touchy about being discriminated against, they fail to realise that they are just doing the same when they stare at, for example, goths like there is nothing better to do right then, then remove one of there limbs. but then thats alright?

the only conclusion i have is the finger in my picture is aimed at every person out there who hasnt got the brain capacity to love, and not hate. hating someone is a whole lot easier. must make em weak?
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