The People's Exhibit A (davidology) wrote,
The People's Exhibit A

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Trip Day Two

My toe keeps changing colors. Right now it's an odd shade of burgundy mixed in with a tinge of black. It's sort of like having a "Mood Toe". The knot seems to have spawned a child on the left side of the toe now as well. One nice feature though is that every time I accidentally hit it against something or step the wrong way, I get to see pretty stars.

A quick visit to "WebMD" (actually not so quick at dialup) suggested a home treatment of fashioning a gauze along side the injured toe and taping it to an adjacent, uninjured "buddy toe". Ahh yes... the buddy toe system. I'm pleased to report that the little piggy who was denied roast beef is now buddy buddy with the piggy who had all the roast beef. The little piggy who cried "wee wee wee" all the way home simply could not be trusted.

Conversation overheard at Blockbuster this evening:
(nasty looking man to woman): quit sniffing me.
(woman) Deidre and Angela said you smelled.
(nasty looking man): I just smell like a man. They were just smelling my man smell and wanted me.
(me thinking): ewwww...

Yea, I'm sure that beer belly covered by your stained shirt made you irresistible.

Today was rather uneventful as I spent most of it sleeping. My dad and I have already begun to argue a little bit over my using his car Friday & Saturday nights. I'm not sure if he's more concerned for me or his new car, however, as he's offered to drop me off in front of the club and pay for cab fare for my return trip. "You can drop me off right here, Dad.... No, dad, I'm sure you're mistaken. That couldn't possibly be a naked man dancing on top of that bar.... Oh.... My bad, I must have meant THAT bar over there."

Today's big news seemed to be the weather. Somewhere in the boonies of Mississippi, a tornado ripped through a Wal-Mart today "filled with holiday shoppers." I'm a bit concerned... not at the weather nor at the holiday shoppers at Wal-Mart, but at the fact that every time I hear the story, it kinda makes me giggle.

Why is it that people they interview after a tornado hits never seem to have all their teeth (unrelated to the tornado)? The tornados also seem to like trailer parks and Wal-Marts.... I think they may actually be intelligent life.

It's been difficult readjusting to life without TiVo. Did you know that after 2 a.m., the only things on TV are infomercials? Poetic justice I guess. Flipping channels over the last 30 minutes, I've watched some guy selling a digital camera repeatedly zoom in and out from 800x to 1x over and over. After I got dizzy, I changed the channel to hear a guy exclaim that he was hung like a hamster (no, seriously, I don't make this up). With the sort of curiosity one has at watching a train wreck, I spent the next 5 minutes listening to guys describe their small penises (or is it peni?) and to big breasted women telling them that size doesn't really matter. As if it weren't enough that these women lied to the penisly challenged on national television, the infomercial folk were all too willing to sell them snake oil to grow their penises as if they were chia pets. Actually, the Chia Pet infomercial would have been a welcome change of pace at that point, but alas was no where to be found.

I'm now watching what appears to be the second part in a two-part "Brady Bunch" where they get lost in some deserted old western ghost town. Had I seen the first episode, I might understand how the hell they got there to begin with. I'll have to go to bed not knowing. I'd kill for an episode of "Judge Judy" about right now.

Oh, here comes the part where Bobby & Cindy are lost in the desert. Got to go... hopefully they get eaten by wolves.... now that would be entertaining.

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