May. 15th, 2004
Just tax the stupid people  
We all know who I'm talking about here. The guy (or girl) in your class who, when the professor was about to let everyone out early, has 5 more of her stupid questions she's been asking all day long. Your 15 minute early release turns into 2 minutes late. I think it is our duty to abort these people at the collegiate level. These are the people who are too dumb to be in society—not because they have trouble grasping the quadratic equation, but because they don't realize it. And here, my peeps, is where the real problem is. Because these people turn into the problems of tomorrow.

You know the type: the guy who takes a full 5 minutes at the ATM machine. I've been stuck behind this guy far too many times. Seriously, I can make 2 deposits, 1 withdrawal, tie my shoe, check my hair in the little mirror, and drum a Brand New tune on the machine in the same time it takes him to make one simple withdrawal. But that's not what finally pushed me over the edge this time. After all, the bank more or less forces you to use ATMs—even the mentally challenged.

The problem is, this is also the same guy who insists on using the self checkout line at the market.

Sir (or ma'am), there are 15 other checkout lines with perfectly (ok, well, mostly capable) union cashiers ready and willing to help you. When it takes you six... SIX (yes, I counted them) minutes to figure out how to pay, you should realize that self checkout might not be for you. I watched you stare blankly at the machine for what must have been a minute between each step, while I delicately balanced the three 12-packs of soda in my hands. Then after you finally left, as I approached the machine, you even came back to take another look, just to confirm you were through. Trust me, YOU ARE THROUGH! I would have thrown a 12 pack on your head if you'd so much as touched that machine again.

It's not just that you're dumb, but it's that you're not even cute to look at. If you were cute, it might be all right. But you bring nothing to this!

But I digress...

Although the rest of us are shocked that you can manage to put your pants on in the morning without getting trapped and needing to call firefighters to extricate you, it's that you don't even realize your limitations. I understand that you don't get things. We all have our limits, I don't try to perform surgery on people. But do you have to make the entire class sit there for 15 extra minutes because you can't accept that True and False are always False? Or because you can't figure out that you don't have a savings account, so the answer is always "FROM YOUR CHECKING." Repeat after me: "FROM... YOUR... CHECKING." Or that using self checkout doesn't save you any time, and that confused look on your face isn't cute.

Society recognizes there are people like you out there. It's the whole reason we have full service gas pumps. So, for the love of god, stop trying to use the self service aisles! You don't know what you're doing, and you're either going to hurt yourself, or the rest of us are going to kill you. Seriously, in class, we were all plotting how we'd kill you if you asked one more question. In hindsight, we should have. Because now, you're still out there screwing with our lives!
Mood: hyper
Listening to: Brand New - Jude Law and A Semester Abroad
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code_hero on May 15th, 2004 - 03:33 pm
I was nodding my head and laughing at myself throughout your entire entry, but when I got to this part: Seriously, in class, we were all plotting how we'd kill you if you asked one more question, I fell to the floor laughing. We all can relate to these idiots and, unfortunately, we can do little about them but shake our heads in dismay.

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code_hero on May 15th, 2004 - 03:35 pm
laughing to myself... Oops.

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constituent: Frank Kitchen Bananaconstituent on May 15th, 2004 - 03:33 pm
Ha ha! The same people in the self-check aisles bug the hell out of me when they bring too many groceries. I've seen people who don't want to get into a relatively long line and move to the self-check lane thinking they can unload, scan, bag, and pay for their items in less time. If I see anybody with more than ten items in self-check lanes, I'm moving elsewhere. It's even worse when they have produce, since they have to look up every individual item and then they're interrupted constantly by the speaker on the machines telling them that items have been inadvertantly moved from the bagging area.

For what could have taken two minutes at a cashier, they took 10 minutes -- and my ten minutes.
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on May 17th, 2004 - 04:27 pm
I think when people take too many items into the express lane, they should be hit over the head. Or better yet, the registers should be programmed to not permit over x number of items to be rung up.

Or worse, when they whip out their checkbook to pay for it. Dude!
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constituent: Frank Kitchen Bananaconstituent on May 17th, 2004 - 05:38 pm
Even better, people in the express lanes with extra items should be charged extra money for their groceries. "Limit 10: Additionaly items will be charged 50¢ extra on their retail value"

Fucktards! And for the people who write checks, they should be placed in a detention cell on their way out, as to make them lose ten minutes of their time.
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Gantriochgantrioch on May 15th, 2004 - 04:00 pm
The entire state of New Jersey is only full-service gasoline stations ;-).
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driftwoodsun on May 15th, 2004 - 05:25 pm
Same with Oregon.

And we have a few here in Washington State.

I hate them.
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Gantriochgantrioch on May 15th, 2004 - 05:28 pm
People in Oregon can't be trusted with gasoline pumps ;-).
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driftwoodsun on May 15th, 2004 - 05:29 pm
They did it to save jobs.

And the environment!
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Gantriochgantrioch on May 15th, 2004 - 05:37 pm
Save jobs or create jobs?
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driftwoodsun on May 15th, 2004 - 05:38 pm
I think save jobs.

Although that would depend on whether or not all gas stations were full service way-back-when.

And I'm not sure if that was the case.
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Gantriochgantrioch on May 15th, 2004 - 05:45 pm
I dunno. It seems like they're pity jobs. Akin to federal work-study. "Go sit at this desk in the computer lab and do your homework and get paid."

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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on May 17th, 2004 - 04:25 pm
Supposedly done for the environment, but do that many people manage to spill gas? I wouldn't mind, if it didn't cost extra coz filling up is annoying. But I'm not about to pay someone > $3 gal. to fill up my car.

Anywho, our nozzles have some sort of wacky vaccuum to catch most of the vapor.
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Milambermilamberrex on May 15th, 2004 - 04:47 pm
LOL -- full service gas pumps! i haven't seen one of those since i was kid!
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on May 17th, 2004 - 04:18 pm
Check out a few gas stations in Bev Hills.. They still have some.
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Milambermilamberrex on May 17th, 2004 - 04:30 pm
will have to check it out the next time i'm on the west coast!
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on May 17th, 2004 - 04:32 pm
...and if you don't mind the $3+ price for full service. :-p
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Milambermilamberrex on May 17th, 2004 - 04:37 pm
LOL -- well, i haven't filled up my car it two weeks. i paid $1.75 :) As of Saturday, premium had only reached $1.99 here, so maybe I will pass on the west coast for now! :-)
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Pon Farrponfarr on May 15th, 2004 - 06:48 pm
I think you're being too hard on those people. Given how they are, they most likely rarely get chances to do things all by themselves. So when they do get the chance, they jump at it. I think you should clap the next time they finish a transaction at the ATM or checkout line because such achievements for those people deserve some recognition.
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The People's Exhibit A: Cornholiodavidology on May 17th, 2004 - 04:17 pm
hehe... you said 'hard on'
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calichilloutcalichillout on May 16th, 2004 - 12:49 am
Dude, I'm so glad someone else feels the way I do about this shit. Honestly, I sit in class every fucking day and just hope to god, there aren't stupid questions! But there always are! The best revenge though is when the prof says, "Hurry up" or "We don't have time for this" or something of that nature. I feel so happy then:-)
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on May 17th, 2004 - 04:17 pm
:sigh: but that so rarely happened.

God, I truly wanted to throw things at them. Ask the professor yourself and stop holding up the rest of the class, you assclown!
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calichilloutcalichillout on May 17th, 2004 - 04:34 pm
You said it dude!
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beachboyty: AnFbeachboyty on May 18th, 2004 - 12:19 pm
What a coincidence, this same guy comes down from L.A. to Orange County to steal precious moments of my rapidly aging life at LEAST once a week. In fact he was at the self-check out kiosk at Home Depot last week taking forever to buy three fucking plants. The virtual teller kept telling him in her electronic humming voice that he was placing unscanned items on the scanned items platform and he just ignored her trying to figure out how to press the buttons on the screen. I wanted to take the nail gun I was buying and shoot him in the ass. I am certain that would have put a brain in his head or at least a little more "pep in his step" as my dad used to say.

Anyway, gratifying post! :)
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The People's Exhibit A: A.D.D.davidology on May 18th, 2004 - 07:23 pm
Self checkout is such a mixed blessing. They're great when ppl know what they're doing, but a bitch when they don't.

I wish they'd just practice saying this outloud: "Your technology frightens and confuses me" and then just bounce off to a cashier.
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