Nov. 12th, 2008
at least it didn't end in fire this time  
My Dearest Trader Ming:

While I enjoyed your Shrimp Gyoza, I believe you may have left out a step in the directions.

I heated the oil in the wok on high and began pan frying the gyoza, flat side down, just as your directions indicated. It was, however, after those 4 minutes when you instructed me to "add 4 tablespoons of water to pan" that things went horribly, horribly wrong.

You seemed to have neglected to include the part where the gyoza would immediately go supernova. While the loud eruption startled scared the living fuck out of me, it was the geyser of oily, searing hot pain that rained down immediately after, causing me to slip while trying to exit what I believed at the time be an exploding kitchen, that I will remember most.

I can only assume that this was meant as payback for Hiroshima. We're even, okay? Please don't try to kill me again with your delicious frozen food treats.

 
Tags: ,
 
 
Mood: hot
 
 
( Post a new comment )
Zero-Zero-One-Zero Encodedsalacious_pop on November 13th, 2008 - 06:30 am
lol
(Reply) (Thread) (Link)
eviltickles on November 13th, 2008 - 06:35 am
i think you're supposed to add the water in slowly or something. when i last tried to make them a fried a couple of weeks ago, i added all the water all at once and they turned out to be a horrible disaster. i find that although it takes longer, it is just easier to boil them and then sear them a bit to get the crispiness. that or i just go to the nearest Chinese restaurant. my parents would be so ashamed...
(Reply) (Thread) (Link)
Markmahka42 on November 13th, 2008 - 08:33 am
hmmm...odd instructions, considering it's a general rule to never add water to hot oil (why you don't use water to put out a grease fire)

the way i usually do it (not necessarily with trader ming's) is water+oil in a cool pan, gyoza in, cover and heat on high, wait until all the water has evaporated, then fry for a few more minutes to get the crip. that way you get the steam first, fry second.
(Reply) (Thread) (Link)
Davidsebastian86 on November 13th, 2008 - 02:43 pm
that's how i cook it too! i think this way is safer, especially if the dumplings were frozen.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Link)
Bradbradzoid on November 13th, 2008 - 01:20 pm
Those instructions do seem to be a deliberate tactical error on their part. Definitely trying to kill you with delicious treats.

They are a lying company and deserve to have treats shoved into and around their eyes.
(Reply) (Thread) (Link)
sisyphus238: foodsisyphus238 on November 13th, 2008 - 01:47 pm
I usually put frozen potstickers in a little hot oil and let them fry for a few minutes before adding about a 1/4 cup of chicken stock that I've heated up a bit in the microwave. I let them then cook, covered for about 8 minutes before removing the cover, lowering the heat and letting the remaining liquid cook off, letting the gyoza get brown.

The only oil spatter I get is when the frozen gyoza have too much ice on them.
(Reply) (Thread) (Link)
Boback2life on November 13th, 2008 - 01:47 pm
I smell a...
LAWSUIT!
(Reply) (Thread) (Link)
Gantrioch: Bacon.gantrioch on November 13th, 2008 - 03:14 pm
I've banned you from real cooking. Now I guess I have to ban you from cooking frozen delicacies :-p.
(Reply) (Thread) (Link)
Dizzy Athan the Greekfaggypants on November 13th, 2008 - 06:30 pm
Shrimp gyoza = chimpokemon 2.0 !!
(Reply) (Thread) (Link)
Dizzy Athan the Greekfaggypants on November 13th, 2008 - 06:33 pm
*chinpokomon !!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Link)
Zenk you very much, American bitch.absolutpequeno on November 13th, 2008 - 10:26 pm
I'm No Cook
Wouldn't adding water to something that's frying cancel each other out? Again, I'm no cook, but that barely makes sense.

And Shrimp Gyoza - that sounds Mmmm! Mmmm! right now.
(Reply) (Thread) (Link)