Dec. 12th, 2006
ONOEZ SOY I5 GIVNIG KIDZ TEH GHEY!!  
neocons seriously crack. my. shit. up.

A friend sent me this. The Onion can't even make stuff like this up. I can't even believe they actually believe this much less put it in print for the whole world to see, but thank the gods they do.

A devil food is turning our kids into homosexuals

There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most popular.

Now, I'm a health-food guy, a fanatic who seldom allows anything into his kitchen unless it's organic. I state my bias here just so you'll know I'm not anti-health food.

The dangerous food I'm speaking of is soy. Soybean products are feminizing, and they're all over the place. You can hardly escape them anymore.

[...]

Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because "I can't remember a time when I wasn't homosexual." No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can't remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them... .


BWAHAHAHAHAHA. The homophobes have truly reached a new level of stupidity with this. edamame == teh ghey.

You can read the entire inane, psychotic episode put to print >here<.

OMG!!!! NO!! BOBBY JOE GET THAT SOYBEAN OUT OF LIL' BILLY BOB'S HANDS BEFORE HE CATCHES TEH GHEY! OH MA GAWD, SPRAY HIM WITH LYSOL OR SOMETHIN'! NO! DON'T COME NEAR ME! YOU MIGHT GIVE ME THE AIDS!!

lololololol

 
 
 
Mood: can't. stop. loling.
Listening to: Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
 
 
( Post a new comment )
Ben / KC_Risen Phoenix!: Tom Bianchi: - two men fuckingkc_risenphoenix on December 13th, 2006 - 02:03 am
I was just typing up a post on this one myself...think I still will. It is almost scarey because of all the people who will believe it. I wish it were true. I know some studs I'd start feeding tons of soy to!
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(no subject) - ex_xtex on December 13th, 2006 - 02:46 am
matintin: oh annematintin on December 13th, 2006 - 02:59 am
Everyone knows Japanese guys are more feminine than American women.

QED, all Japanese men are hairless twinks who like it up the bum.
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baltpup25: laughing puppybaltpup25 on December 13th, 2006 - 02:51 am
NOOOOOOOOOOO, nawt teh ghey!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!
LMAO! What made this post riotly funny, though, was your tirade.

However, I must be educatin' youz. We've gawt Wawl-Mart now. So, we'z buy FEBREEEZE! Fuck that Lysol shit. :)
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on December 13th, 2006 - 05:56 am
Re: NOOOOOOOOOOO, nawt teh ghey!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!
ur not one of those crazies
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baltpup25: sniffbaltpup25 on December 14th, 2006 - 12:36 am
Re: NOOOOOOOOOOO, nawt teh ghey!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!
LOL. naw, just sniffed too much Febreeze. LOL

*lix da hawtie*
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Bobby: Bayard Rustinshouldvesmiled on December 13th, 2006 - 03:09 am
I don't even like soy :-P
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machmed on December 13th, 2006 - 03:26 am
W.T.F.
Um...what the...
If he hates Homosexualz(TM) so much, and if he's so convinced that "homosexuality"--or just being attracted to your same sex--is simply caused by some kind of hormone imbalance, then why doesn't he feed all the Lesbianses(TM) a shit-load of soy to "cure" their Lesbionic problem?

And the way he talks about the ghays, he makes it sound like they're a special, unique species. (Please, who the fuck uses the term "homosexual" as a noun?) But if he thinks they're an actual separate entity from human beings, how can he think their attraction to their same sex can be attributed to external influences? Their dilemma must be genetic if they're a distinct species, right?

Ok, I'm having trouble taking this guy and his Soy Theory seriously. Someone please make it all better and just tell me this is a joke.
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sublimevisions on December 13th, 2006 - 03:44 am
lol. that is the biggest load of larkey ever!

while there is an inverse relationship to excessive estrogen in men and testosterone levels, soy is an organic estrogen and will leave the body.

i wish the government would regulate the damage caused by synthetic estrogens caused by pesticides and canned foods. unlike the organic estrogens the synthetic ones "bond" with us and never leave. causing rise in cancer levels in women, creating insulin insensitivity (though i don't understand how) and lowering sperm count (especially Y chromosome sperm) in men.

i really wish the idiots who write this shite would give the right information.
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erikelo_sf on December 13th, 2006 - 04:00 am
Funny.
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Fu Fu: danny-dougiecrazy_trekkie on December 13th, 2006 - 04:33 am
That's so funny I very nearly soiled myself.

Then afterwards, I ate some soy.
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