Oct. 9th, 2006
Falling Death Monkeys  
This morning, I'm particularly half asleep driving to work because the Sun decided to come in late today. I get to the 405, where I'm sitting at the ramp meter, minding my own .bizness, waiting for my turn.

Finally, it's my turn to get on the freeway, so I stop at the signal (still half asleep of course). Finally I get the green, and as if in slow motion, during that brief milisecond between my brain telling my foot to press the accelerator down, I hear something fall from the sky through the sunroof and hit the center console by the radio.

At this point my car is now moving down the ramp so I can merge on. Of course, if you're unfamiliar with our freeways you should understand, this is always done at full acceleration (much like that scene in Clueless). So I'm rapidly gaining speed so I can slip in between traffic, while trying to look down and see what that noise was. That's when I found myself eye–to–deathray with a bee.

I squealed (insde my head), and quickly rolled every window down. As I worked my way to the #2 lane, I kept glancing over at the death monkey riding beside me to make sure he stayed on his side of the car. Of course, despite the wind whipping around car, the gods' cruel little joke just sat there mocking me.

I'm not entirely sure how, but I drove all the way down to the Santa Monica Fwy with one eye on the road, and the other on the bee that I'm certain would have killed me the second I'd taken my gaze off him. I kept hoping he would fly off or get blown out a window, but fucker didn't budge.

I somehow made it to work alive and shooed it from my car with a Trader Joe's bag and a shrill scream.

In other crazy bad omens, my car's GPS seems to think I'm parked at Dockweiler beach. Actually, to be specific, it thinks I'm parked on the beach, about to drive into the ocean. I hope it clears itself up on the drive home. All that salt water isn't good for the paint.

 
 
 
Listening to: New Years Day - Ready, Aim, Misfire
 
 
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machmed on October 9th, 2006 - 10:58 pm
...the bee that I'm certain would have killed me the second I'd taken my gaze off him.

Haha, I'm totally the same about bees. People think I'm irrational about it, but it makes perfect sense in my mind. What happened to you today is truly a horrific experience in my eyes. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.
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ex_applehead554 on October 9th, 2006 - 11:11 pm
you know, if you're allergic to bee stings i'm gonna sound like a total ass, but that was the funniest thing i've read today!
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(no subject) - joiseyguy on October 9th, 2006 - 11:21 pm
The People's Exhibit Adavidology on October 10th, 2006 - 03:30 am
if u were a resident, they would suspend ur license.

dunno what they do/can do to nonresidents :-P
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(no subject) - joiseyguy on October 10th, 2006 - 05:59 am
Zero-Zero-One-Zero Encoded: Fucked Up Porn - Asian Cheerleadersalacious_pop on October 10th, 2006 - 12:06 am
I LOL'd

omg you are too cute
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Dizzy Athan the Greek: leidfaggypants on October 10th, 2006 - 12:06 am
omg i totally had to laugh out loud for that. that has happened to me before, not on the highway, but where i was able to park and get out of my car real quick like. of course the little effer took its sweet time to get out. like he was coming to the mall with me or something... i'm like they dont have size bee !!!

on another note your car has now been to the beach more then i have in the last 5 years. thats sad
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on October 10th, 2006 - 03:29 am
I considered calling AAA.... considered it.
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gregstevenstx on October 10th, 2006 - 12:10 am
Are you allergic to bees?
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The People's Exhibit A: eekdavidology on October 10th, 2006 - 03:28 am
i'm not sure that screaming and flailing my arms around like a 12 yo girl and hurting like a mother is technically an allergic reaction.
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Markmillenium_spike on October 10th, 2006 - 12:33 am
lol, i enjoyed this post quite a bit.

I've never been stung by a bee, and never will...because I run away like a little girl at the site of one. haha. :P
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Daveim_confused on October 10th, 2006 - 01:58 am
Hahaha, you know — having read my bee stories before — that I can totally sympathize with you here.
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dhruv_dhody: leeladhruv_dhody on October 10th, 2006 - 03:57 am
I am smiling as i read this early in the morning out here!!
u have a bee-free life!!
xoxo
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Gantrioch: Weather Control Device.gantrioch on October 10th, 2006 - 08:32 pm
You're so wonderfully butch :-p.
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