Dec. 21st, 2004
From the Desk of WTF  
We're finally totally moved. I went to Comcast to drop off the 4 cable boxes and the cable modem from the old place. After waiting an interminable amount of time in line for the 2.5 cashiers open, one of whom was occupied by this deaf guy who spent 25 minutes screaming (at least one would assume from arm flailing). The 0.5 seemed mostly there to receive payments (I think), because she seemed to only help someone when she felt like it. After carrying around the rather heavy box for 20 minutes in line, I finally got her.

All goes smoothly until the end.

INT. COMCAST OFFICE

Idiot Comcast Employee: Where's the other modem? It says here you have two cable modems.
Me: No, just one leased one. We bought a replacement some time ago, but didn't have the time to return it yet. Maybe that's the modem you're seeing on the account.
ICE: You're going to have to bring that modem in so we can inspect it to prove that it's not ours.
M: Are you kidding? I bought that modem from Best Buy. It's not yours. Why should I be inconvenienced due to your mistake. Besides, it's a Toshiba modem. I don't even think you use those.
ICE: It doesn't say what brand here. We need to see proof that modem is not ours.
M: We've had a $180 per month account with you for over 3 years. I'm not disconnecting the modem and coming all the way out here again to show it to you because your company didn't record it correctly. I'm sorry if your company screwed up the account records, but this isn't my problem, and I'm not paying for service beyond today.
ICE: Your service charges will stop today, but we will assess you a $100 fee if you don't bring the modem in.
M: Well, you can assess all the fees you want, but I'm not paying any more than what I owe you for 1/2 this month's service. The most I might be willing to do is fax you my receipt, assuming I can find it.
ICE: That will be fine. I'll give you our fax number.

(As she's completing the paperwork, a light bulb goes off.)

M: Actually, if you look on the account, you'll see we were only charged one lease charge for one modem, and an additional fee for an additional IP. If we had two modems, we would have at least been charged another leasing fee, and probably another internet charge instead of the extra IP. That proves it was my modem. You wouldn't have given us an extra modem without charging us for it.

IDIOT EMPLOYEE TYPES ON KEYBOARD. SHE LOOKS SURPRISED AND ENLIGHTENED BY WHAT SHE SEES.

Announcer: [CLICK] Houston, we have comprehension. [CLICK]

ICE: Hmm... Oh, you're right. You were only being charged one modem fee.

IDIOT EMPLOYEE CONTINUES TO LOOK AT SCREEN, TYPES A FEW CHARACTERS FOR ABOUT 5 SECONDS. HER DEMEANOR RETURNS TO NORMAL.

ICE: ...but you're still going to have to bring the modem in or show us a receipt for proof.

Me: *HEAD EXPLODES*

I kept waiting for MTV's Boiling Points team to come out, let me off the hook, and hand me $100 at this point.

I think Comcast must be hiring people who were fired from the DMV.
 
 
Listening to: Yellowcard - One Year, Six Months
 
 
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Jean-Baptistexorn on December 21st, 2004 - 02:04 am
Good god. Sorry you had to go through that.
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billyboy15 on December 21st, 2004 - 02:20 am
God damn Boiling Points. Every time I find myself in a frustrating situation, I'm just PRAYING that I'm on that damned show.
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on December 21st, 2004 - 06:47 pm
This was certainly one of those moments. I can't tell if she's really that clueless or just trying to be difficult. Thankfully, I haven't paid December yet, so I owe them money and not the other way around.
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ex_prezrober685 on December 21st, 2004 - 05:59 am
David gotta smake the bitch up!

=)

That DMV line... priceless <3.
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MKmankelly on December 21st, 2004 - 06:29 am
Simply stunning. If you're lucky maybe she'll be nominated for the Darwin Award one year. ;-)
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eviltickles on December 21st, 2004 - 06:52 am
so this is where they hire people who can't flip burgers...
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bluepose on December 21st, 2004 - 07:12 am
HAHAHAHA I just pictured your head exploding... of course without concerning the reality of death that would follow.

Without death - that's sum funny shit!
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on December 21st, 2004 - 06:53 pm
Seriously, it was as if I were on a sitcom. I was waiting to hear the audience laugh.
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Gantriochgantrioch on December 21st, 2004 - 07:31 am
What happened to your other post! Didn't I just make a post "wining" about that :-p?

:-).
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The People's Exhibit A: dohdavidology on December 21st, 2004 - 11:08 am
was it the one before this? I accidentally locked it private instead of friends only. d'oh.
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vwjustinvwjustin on December 21st, 2004 - 11:49 am
Totally Boiling Point!
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The People's Exhibit Adavidology on December 21st, 2004 - 06:55 pm
Damnit, and I'd have won too! I was totally calm... more flabberghasted by her claim to my modem.
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JayEssencejayessence on December 22nd, 2004 - 08:52 pm
wow. customer service in America is just the best!

$180/month for cable and cable modem?! eeeek!
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hotelie on December 23rd, 2004 - 07:35 pm
Ohhhhhh I hate Comcast. They once disconnected my cable accidentally. Took about three or four days to get it resolved...

You should have told her to get her ass in a Comcast van and follow you home if she wanted to see the modem THAT badly. :-)
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